By Karabo Ntanzi
A Congolese-born businesswoman, Aena Mwenze, who resides in Kimberley, celebrated her birthday differently this year by inviting survivors of Gender-Based Violence (GBV). The purpose was to observe the International Nelson Mandela Day.
The host, owner of Aena.CO collaborated with the SAPS, Women Touching Lives, Reach for Recovery and other NPOs to share a warm meal, her birthday cake and distribute goodie bags to 70 women at Aldersgate Methodist Church Hall in Floors, Kimberley. Some of the attendants are placed at shelters to protect them from their abusive partners.
SAPS Gender Based Violence and Femicide Coordinator at Phakamile Mabija police station, Vuyelwa Ramookho, accompanied by Brigadier Kopeledi, sent a clear and strong message: “Step out, you only live once. Many women make a lot of excuses for why they are not leaving abusive situations. We are here to say, don’t wait to become a statistic. Do not stay and wait for your death at the hands of an abusive man. Think about your children, get up and rebuild your life,” said Ramookho.
The guest speakers encouraged women to fend for themselves and not to rely on men, because this is what makes women stay in abusive relationships, which sometimes leads to death. Women who needed help on how to come out of abusive relationships were given helpful tips.
Author and GBV survivor, Advocate Laverne Accom, shared her six-year ordeal when her 18-year marriage fell apart. “I left my marriage with a mountain of debt, no car. My ex-husband took away my children. There was a time when he stopped paying the bond, I almost lost my house,” she said.
Accom explained how the system failed her, including the Legal Aid Board. She failed the means test because she was still considered to be “married”.
However, things took a turn for the better when she registered with Unisa for her LLB degree and reverted to her maiden surname. “He used to say, ‘You are nothing without my surname” narrated Accom.
Currently, Accom is the Chairperson of The Northern Cape Bar of Advocates, an author of four books on GBV and helps women who are trying to escape abusive partners through her expertise.
There was a transformation from sadness and morrows to a celebration after the formal speeches. The hall became alive with music and dancing led by the vibrant and energetic host, Aena. There were smiles on the faces of the delegates as they sang along to some popular tunes and the famous Jerusalema step. After all, what is a party without it?
The petite mother of four boys, Aena Mwenza, said, “I wanted to create a moment of dignity, healing, and a sense of belonging to all women who are affected by the scourge of Gender Based Violence. To give them a space to pause and reflect on the challenges faced by women in South Africa”.
The two-hour program was uplifting for the women who momentarily forgot about their problems, interacted, and exchanged their stories of survival.
NOTES:
Gender based violence and Femicide remain a challenge for South Africa. Women are disproportionately affected by rape, assault, grievous bodily harm, and murder. According to the SAPS stats between January and March 2025, 969 women were murdered, over 11,000 rape cases were reported and nearly 15,000 assault cases involving women.
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